Turkey and Therapy

When I was still living at home with my parents, we had a game every year around Thanksgiving.

The goal of this game was to find the biggest turkey possible. To my delight one year I found the biggest turkey we had ever had...this bad boy weight a hefty 28 pounds!!!! This thing was huge and I had never watched how turkey was prepared for baking or anything like that so I just sat back excited for our family to see this massive bird to make its appearance at our dinner table.

After waiting what seemed to be days , my mom and dad called everyone in to watch the bird get carved table side. As they began they commented on how big the bird was and how I had set a new record for weight etc. My Dad started to get the knives ready and I was beaming , then he paused and looked at me with a look I will never forget......he whispered to my mom and she just looked shocked .... I was thinking to myself maybe he want her to cut it. After a few moments he said " there's something in the bird" he started digging inside and said" holy shit.... it was pregnant!!!" and proceeded to pull out a baby Turkey ( or what looked like a baby turkey) and then says" no wonder it was so heavy honey it was carrying a baby". I started to bawl and got sick at the thought of this poor mommy turkey and her now dead baby being cooked and how I was sooo happy at the weight only to find out it was heavy because it was PREGNANT!

I left the table and refused to eat , my dad forced me to return to the table and then says..... " honey , it wasn't having a baby, we were pulling a prank on you , since the bird was so big we thought it would be funny to tease you into thinking it was pregnant . We actually stuffed it with a game hen and if you would have stopped to think and look at the "baby" it was missing all its parts just like the turkey , it didn't have a head or feathers ! Goofy".

Needless to say I have never again been proud to have the biggest turkey. I don't want to prepare any turkey , just on the off chance that it may be pregnant!

P.S
My stupid family still teases me about that shit to this day.

P.P.S
I hate my family. ;)

Happy Thanksgiving every one!